News in Brief: Cross Monks and Tattoos

Welcome to the first ‘proper’ edition of the Soap File for 2009. We’ve had a few unexpected specials lately, with the death of the lovely Kathy Staff and the demise of the worst producer in the history of Emmerdale, but now we’re back to normal.

It should be noted we have a few ‘older’ stories in this file, but not because we’re slow to cover them; it’s just simply this is the first opportunity we’ve had to include them in a regular file since December.

Bell Tolls For Monks

Lets start with some recent news… EastEnders actor Elliott Jordan has departed the BBC soap, however, his character of Callum Monks will remain on-screen until early spring. Jordan says he’s looking forward to trying new things. …like some believable acting? Sounds a good idea. Still, he’s cute, isn’t he?

Weatherfield Is Right Up Beacham’s Street

Veteran actress Stephanie Beacham is loving her time on Coronation Street. The former Bad Girls and Dynasty star plays newcomer Matha – a barge owner who strikes up a friendship with Ken in the long-running ITV saga.

It might be too much to ask for Martha to take Ken away for a new life on the waterways of the UK, although if she does manage to tempt him, they could take Emily as the barge’s mascot too.

Quick Ones:

Ender Up For Bradley: Lovable redhead Bradley Branning looks like he could be getting himself a nice bit of totty next month when new character Syd Chambers – played by Nina Toussaint-White – takes a shine to him after he shows her his big friend. – A St Bernard dog, that is.

Grow Old On Emmerdale: Amanda Donohoe commented that she didn’t want to ‘grow old in America’ – so had decided to age a little on Emmerdale. I know how she feels, every time I sit through a full episode I feel I’ve aged a decade. Donohoe plays Natasha Wylde in the Yorkshire based series.

Return The Platt: Ryan Thomas, who the Sun newspaper described as ‘a hunk’ – a hunk of what? Wood? – wants his girlfriend to return to the Weatherfield saga. Ryan thinks Tina O’Brien is an asset to the show.

He told The Sun: “Jason and Sarah are a great couple and it would be fab if Tina came back into the soap. She’s a big name and a great character and Corrie is all about families.”

Well the only thing big about O’Brien’s character is her name – Sarah Louise Platt is a ruddy long thing! Tina gave birth to their first child, Scarlett, last October. And in other family news…

Peed Off: Ryan Thomas who plays builder Jason Grimshaw in Coronation Street was hit with an £80 on-the-spot charge after having a public wee wee after a night out. It was reported that the 24-year-old was so incensed at the drunk and disorderly fine that he banged shut a pal’s car door so hard on-lookers were surprised the glass didn’t shatter.

A Guide To Acting By Emmerdale

Tip 34: If a script demands ‘high drama’ just wave your arms around a bit, and pull some exaggerated facial expressions.

Quitting Corrie Saved Dawn

Liz Dawn – legendary Coronation Street character Vera Duckworth – was diagnosed with the lung disease emphysema and found her final years on the soap increasingly difficult. In her last few months, she even suffered from panic attacks on set.

“Leaving the show really did save my life. It’s removed a lot of stress from me,” she told The Sun. Dawn, who left the series a year ago, now spends her retirement in luxury. “I’ve been on four cruises this last year, which isn’t bad is it? I’ve also been on holiday to Spain six times.” She told the newspaper.

More Quickies:

Take Of-fence: The BBC Studios at Elstree have suffered what has been described as a security breach. A hole was found in the studio fence where EastEnders is produced. Well rather in the fence than in the script. Last year jokers stole the first ‘R’ from the Rovers Return sign on the Coronation Street backlot. No items were noted as missing from the BBC studios.

Casualty Of Ridiculous Ofcom: Gory scenes in an episode of Casualty have been criticised by Ofcom – the moronic television regulator. They state the episode exceeded generally accepted standards and was inappropriately scheduled. The only thing inappropriate is ‘Labour Luvvie’ Ofcom themselves. They can wrap nonsense like scenes in Casualty – which is renowned for its gory moments – yet real issues such as regional broadcasting go un-touched.

Must-Have Been A Slow News Day: Neighbours actress Jackie Woodburne laughed off suggestions that she is covered in tattoos. The former Prisoner Cell Block H star denies having any, and who actually cares if she does?

It’s Called Acting Dear: Michelle Keegan told the world in early January that she is nothing, nothing, like her Coronation Street character. Yes, they call it acting love, well unless you’re Antony Cotton and then, of course, you just turn up and flounce around like a fanny in a fit.

Not So Cross With Corrie

Despite earlier reports, Granada bosses have now suggested they didn’t deliberately hide a religious symbol from scenes in an episode of the soap in case it offended.

A spokesperson for the Manchester produced serial is reported as saying: “Contrary to claims that the programme’s producers wanted the cross moving as they were worried its inclusion would offend people, what actually happened was that they wanted to move the cross so that it was not hidden.”

It seems the request to ‘move’ the cross was taken the wrong way by one of the church staff members through a simple misunderstanding.

“It now transpires that she took [the moving of the cross] to mean that production felt people would be offended by seeing the cross, when in fact they were concerned that the props were blocking the view of the cross. In fact during the Wednesday episode of Coronation Street a shot of the cross was seen.” The Granada staff member added.