Are all Walford Weddings doomed?

Tonight Walford’s resident control freak Archie Mitchell will finally tie the knot with Peggy Mitchell but married bliss is not on the agenda for long when dramatic revelations threaten to tear the Mitchell family apart. Here, to gear up for the dramatic episode, ATV Soap takes a look back at past Walford couples to tie the knot and asks the all important question – are all Walford Weddings doomed?

Without further ado let’s take a look at the evidence…
Michelle and Lofty

Length of marriage: 1 year
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

We’re going to start with the first ever Walford wedding in the autumn of 1986 when the loveable but slightly dim Lofty Holloway was prepared to make a honest woman of gymslip mum Michelle Fowler. Michelle who was having second thoughts and still had feelings for the father of her baby Dirty Den repaid Lofty’s kindness by doing a runner on the wedding day and leaving him stood at the altar looking like a plum. An asthma attack followed for Lofty while Michelle was left to face the daunting Walford gossip mill.
Things took a turn for the better for this particular couple when just a few months later, much to everyone’s surprise, they did tie the knot in a small registry office affair. Happiness was short lived however when Michelle decided she wanted something more out of life and aborted Lofty’s baby and so Mr and Mrs Holloway divorced after only one year of marriage. Lofty left the square to hopefully find a woman more deserving of his kind nature while Michelle went back to life as a single mother.
Frank and Pat

Length of marriage: 7 years
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

Second in line for a cursed Walford wedding were childhood sweethearts Pat Wicks and Frank Butcher. In a difference to the first Walford couple to tie the knot their first attempt at doing so was successful. Much of their actual ceremony occured off screen. A traditional East End street party was arranged for the reception with jellied eels and a good old fashioned East End sing-a-long. But, as usual in Albert Square especially when it’s serial bride Pat you’ve married, disaster struck when the couple’s business interests went tits up leaving them in thousands of pounds of debt. Frank scarpered leaving Pat to look after his kids devil child to be Janine and dopey Ricky.
Returning on christmas day 1995, Frank discovered Pat had found a new man in the shape of car dealer Roy Evans spelling the end of their marriage. Frank remarried to mouthy Peggy Mitchell while serial bride Pat was quick to get a ring on Roy’s finger. Pat and Frank briefly reignited their romance in 2000 behind the backs of their respective spouses but Frank left Walford on Bonfire night that year a broken man after Peggy discovered the affair and decided everyone else should know about it too.
Cindy and Ian

Length of marriage: 9 years
Marriage ended in: Death

Cindy and Ian were next to tie the knot. A doomed ‘affair’ from the start since Cindy was pregnant with another man’s baby at the time. Baby Steven came into the world on boxing day 1989 and Cindy was only too happy for Ian to be named as the father at the time. However a change of heart followed when not content with her life with Walford’s resident fish and chip king Cindy began to hanker after hunky Simon Wicks the real father of her sprog. The pair began an illicit affair before Cindy finally came clean about Steven’s true paternity to a stunned Ian. Wicksy and Cindy escaped to Cindy’s parents house in Devon while Ian having one of his bright ideas decided to attempt to kill himself. After coming out of hospital, Ian tracked Cindy and Wicksy down in Devon and decided to lob one of his crutches through the window of Cindy’s parents house and who said Ian Beale wasn’t a rational sort of guy. Cindy and Wicksy eventually returned to Walford but the reception there was frosty to say the least. Cutting their losses they left Walford and that was seemingly the end of Cindy Beale…

Or not…Ian discovered Cindy was living in a bedsit a couple of years later with Steven and in a moment of madness decided he’d take her back as any self respecting man would. But had Cindy really learnt the error of her ways? Well is serial shagger Pat Butcher a virgin dear? There’s your answer. Despite having twins Peter and Lucy this time with Ian though who knows with her, Cindy was soon up to her old tricks again and had a brief fling with a lifeguard. But it was none other than Simon’s brother the silver tongued charmer David Wicks who her next long running encounter was to be with. Ironically David was also Ian’s brother – everybody of course being related through serial shagger Pat – if we started listing her family tree we’d run out of web space darlings. However David was also afraid of commitment so if Cindy expected to be anything other than a bit on the side to him she was sadly deluding herself. Things took a dramatic twist when Cindy had a brainstorm and decided the answer to all her woes would be having hubby Ian Beale the chipshop king shot at point blank range by a hitman. Instead she was forced to snatch as many of her kids as she could lay her hands on and flee the country leaving all the men in her life – and there were lots – behind!

Need we say that all this was the end of this particular marriage? Not the saga of Ian and Cindy though, Ian later found Cindy living in Italy and snatched the kids back forcing her to come back to London to face the music. Ian was finally rid of his troublesome first wife for good when she died whilst giving birth to her Italian lover Nick’s baby off screen in prison in 1998.
Ricky and Sam
Length of marriage: 1 year
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

Another set of childhood sweethearts. These two absconded to Scotland for a private registry office affair following the disapproval of the first incarnation of Peggy Mitchell and boneheads Grant and Phil Mitchell towards their union. A load of those back in Walford got wind of the plans and off they went tearing after them Pat and Frank to offer support while Phil and Grant decided to take it up on themselves to attempt to stop the wedding. Phil and Grant were too late true to form turning up at the wrong registry office while Pat and Frank were just in time to witness the marriage of Ricky and Sam.

This marriage ran into problems shortly afterwards when Sam decided she would rather be a model than stuck in grotty Walford married to a dopey mechanic. Poor Ricky was left with divorce papers while Sam rubbed salt into the wounds by heading off into the sunset to start a new life on the costa del sol.
Grant and Sharon

Length of marriage: 3 years
Marriage ended in: Divorce (adultery)

Well so far all the marriages have ended in misery – will these two break the chain? Again is serial shagger Pat virgo intacta? Grant Mitchell and Sharon Watts ah a marriage guidance counsellor’s wet dream. Mr and Mrs Mitchell’s marriage was stormy from the start – she was the firey tempered spoilt princess of Dennis and Angie Watts while he was an ex-squaddie with post traumatic stress disorder. A recipe for explosive drama if ever there was one. When they were good they were good but when things turned ugly it was usually in spectacular style. Sharon got her chops slapped on the odd occasion (each time measuring 6.2 on the richter scale) and Grant smashed up the pub a few times before razing it to the ground and nearly killing his wife in the process. Wedded bliss so far so good then at least for these two.

Worst was still to come when Sharon decided she’d like to start sleeping with her brother in law as you do when you’re married to a psycho meathead like Grant Mitchell. The affair soon ended and things seemed to settle down for Mr and Mrs Mitchell – goodness knows after about 3 years of psycho rages, burning pubs and an illicit affair they needed to calm down not much else could happen to them – but it wasn’t long before things came tumbling down again at the Vic. A confession of the affair was on tape – a major blunder by Sharon there – the scene was set, a celebration at the Vic of course, and Grant discovered everything. Several showdowns followed before Sharon escaped to America to start a new life. Needless to say Sharon’s extra marital affair put paid to this marriage.
Mark and Gill

Length of marriage: Only a few hours
Marriage ended in: Death

And so we move on to Mark and Gill. A reasonably happy marriage possibly in part to the bride dying only a few hours after the wedding. Gill and Mark were both HIV positive and Gill knew she was dying. Mark decided to make Gill’s final days as happy as possible by marrying her.
There isn’t much we can say about this marriage since it was very short lived and ended shortly after it began in death. Mark did go on to remarry dowdy Ruth and then the nutty Lisa – it’s every man’s dream to marry someone who’s prone to shooting people after all. More on that later.
Phil and Nadia
Length of marriage: 1 year
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

Next it was Phil’s turn to get married. Phil Mitchell not being one to do things by half this was an unusual marriage. Nadia was a Romanian refugee who had come to the UK to be with her boyfriend who was already in a marriage of convenience with an English woman. Bright spark Phil thought it would be a good idea if he married Nadia without even thinking it through first. He paid for his sins later when after going off to live with her boyfriend, Nadia returned needing Phil to play her husband in a more realistic way to avoid being deported. Phil by this point had already begun a blossoming relationship with local fry up queen Kathy Beale so Nadia showing up could not have come at a worse time for him. Kathy knew nothing of Nadia and when she found out who she was she took an instant dislike to her.

Nadia moved in with Phil while the home office began their investigation into their relationship. Nadia managed to convince the rep from the home office that her relationship with Phil was legit but she neglected to mention this to Phil and he had no choice but to let her continue staying with him. Nadia began to feel jealous of Kathy and Phil’s relationship and started to make things difficult for them. Phil finally gave into temptation and slept with Nadia but regretted it straight away. Nadia refused to give up and made sure Kathy was aware that she’d had Phil.

Angry Phil threw Nadia out and she scarpered after a chat with resident hardman Phil’s brother Grant. Nadia was last seen in the autumn of 1994 when Phil tracked her down in a bid for freedom from the doomed marriage once and for all. Nadia finally agreed to a divorce and to move away on the condition Phil paid her £1000. Phil reluctantly handed over the money and Nadia was not seen again ending this particular and unusual Walford marriage.
Nigel and Debbie

Length of marriage: 1 year
Marriage ended in: Death
  • Nigel and Debbie tied the knot in the 1000th episode of the show

Nigel first met Debbie in 1993 and they tied the knot a year later after Debbie escaped from abusive husband Liam. We have finally found a happy marriage here folks – no affairs, no attacking eachother with the kitchenware or any of that business – but tragedy couldn’t stay at bay for long and Debbie was run over and killed in 1995. So far this is our longest happy marriage lasting almost a year.
Let’s see if there’s any other contenders later on. Nigel went on to romance pub singer Louise which went nowhere and later developed a crush on the pretty but dull Lorraine Wicks; again which went nowhere before finally moving on to teacher Julie Haye with whom he left with for Scotland along with step-daughter Clare and the gay looking one from S Club 7.
Phil and Kathy

Length of marriage: 3 years
Marriage ended in: Divorce (adultery)

Phil and Kathy were next to marry in 1995. This time the marriage was real for Phil and not one of convenience. Things turned horribly wrong for this couple when Phil began drinking heavily following the birth of son Ben jealous of the attention Kathy was paying the little one neglecting him and his needs in the process.

Phil became a fully fledged drunk and Kathy, deciding she couldn’t take no more, moved out. Phil promised to get clean and began attending Alkies anonymous meetings but it was here that he came into contact with fellow drunk Lorna Cartwright and the pair began sleeping with eachother. Nice one Phil! Kathy soon found out and left Walford with little Ben for a new life in South Africa. She later returned in 2000 and offered Phil the chance to go back to South Africa with her. Phil turned her down choosing instead to spend his days in the mayhem of Walford and we thought Grant was supposed to be the thick Mitchell brother!
Mark and Ruth

Length of marriage: 3 years
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

Mark met Ruth at a HIV hospice when she was visiting a friend and the pair grew close. They later married in 1995 but Ruth’s parents didn’t approve of the union after learning of Mark’s HIV. Ruth and Mark settled into life back in Walford but this marriage was far from plain sailing.
They broke up following the strain of fostering a child who had to return home to her mother. Ruth later slept with Mark’s cousin Conor falling pregnant to him spelling the end for this particular couple.
Alan and Carol

Length of marriage: 2 years
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

Now we move on to Alan and Carol. It all starts off on a bad note after she turns down his proposal. However later on he arranges for them to get married in a surprise double ceremony when Carol’s sister April ties the knot. April was left jilted at the altar while Carol accepted Alan’s proposal and decided to go through with the marriage much to father Jim Branning’s disapproval. Jim of course being a staunch racist at the time but of course now he’s a permanent cast member he has had to go all PC so that side to his personality has disappeared faster than Pat Butcher’s knickers have on many an occasion. Carol and Alan tied the knot and the future looked bright for the Jacksons.

This being Walford that lasted all of five minutes. She was getting it off David Wicks daughter Bianca’s father by the end of the year while Alan was bedding slapper Frankie Pierre. David disappeared leaving Carol on her own while Alan (who had left Carol by this point) and Frankie’s relationship fell apart. Alan and Carol later reunited and decide to make a fresh start. Son Billy becomes a key witness in a bank robbery – well everyday life in Albert Square really – and eventually the Jackson’s are forced to go into witness protection so they leave Walford.

Two years later Carol’s back but not with Alan she’s hooked up with somebody else – well what else can you expect really can never go without it can our Carol – how many kids is it and all to different fathers? Alan’s had a breakdown apparently I’m not surprised. Later, after Carol’s latest squeeze turns out to be someone daughter Bianca slept with both in the past and the present, Carol leaves Walford and reunites with Alan off screen. These twos current marital status is unclear as they did divorce but they may have decided to tie the knot again off screen but we can certainly conclude that their on screen marriage had its fair share of ups and downs.
Pat and Roy

Length of marriage: 7 years
Marriage ended in: Death

Unsurprising we reach our second Pat wedding this is a woman with more surnames than the phone book. Pat settled for the slightly dull car dealer Roy Evans after a tempestuous marriage to first hubby Frank – ‘course she was always cheating on him with Frank first sleeping with him in 1996 behind Roy’s back. Pat and Roy tied the knot in November of that year and things seemed to be pretty smooth for the pair besides him losing his business and almost going under. It’s surprising but Pat managed to stick at this marriage for an incredibly long time for her with the marriage only coming to an end when Roy died in 2003. They did of course split in 2000 when Pat began an affair with former hubby Frank but Roy being the gullible man he was was only too happy to forgive and forget eventually. However the marriage did end on bad terms and we don’t just mean him dying – just before he popped off Roy had discovered that Pat knew about Natalie’s affair with Ricky (Natalie at this point was Barry Roy’s son’s wife if you’re following this) Roy seemingly so shocked at the thought of Pat keeping anything from him dropped dead on the spot. Pat went on to have an affair with Patrick Trueman of all people and revealed only last year a box of sex toys she’d no doubt used on countless other men. I’m no prude but maybe it’s time for the BBC to review what’s appropriate before the watershed?
Tiffany and Grant

Length of marriage: 2 years
Marriage ended in: Death

Grant Mitchell’s second marriage was to Tiffany Raymond who was expecting his baby or so he thought at the time. It later transpired that Tiffany didn’t know whose baby she was having after all but decided Grant was a safer option than the other candidate a druggie who was bedding her brother. These two’s marriage needless to say was doomed from the off as any Walford marriage that starts with such a bombshell usually is – so pretty much all of them then.

When Grant discovered the truth he kicked Tiffany out and started seeing the pretty but dull Lorraine Wicks. Eventually Grant and Tiffany reconciled after it transpired her baby was his after all. The marriage was far from smooth and many more fights followed but it was Grant’s affair with Tiffany’s mum that really put a dampener on things. Tiffany discovered the awful truth over a baby monitor and decided to flee Walford and Grant once and for all. Course in true Walford style and because Ross Kemp had signed a new contract while Martine McCutcheon was off to pursue a solo career, Tiffany ended up at the bottom of the Vic stairs and later under the wheels of Frank’s car. And that was that!
Ricky and Bianca

Length of marriage: 2 years
Marriage ended in: Divorce (adultery)

Bianca and Ricky next – poor bloke didn’t stand a chance upon first glance but these two made a compatible couple providing Ricky did as he was told that is! They tied the knot in April 1997 but the wedding nearly fell apart after Ricky woke up on the morning of the wedding in Kent mistaking it for France – well easy mistake to make I suppose. Anyway he just about made it to the church on time despite his company being Phil, Grant and the even dopier Nigel – Ricky not exactly being known for his quick thinking himself. So these two tied the knot with Ricky stinking of shit from the field he’d slept in the night before.

Several splits followed, they lost a baby, he was almost seduced by temptress Teresa di Marco, he thought she’d been knocking off Lenny Wallace when really the story was she could have caught an STD off him years ago bla bla bla – honestly Ricky and Bianca split up so many times and reconciled that it’s difficult to go into it wth any sort of detail other than to tell it how it is. But there was one final split in store that the couple wouldn’t come back from. Well it’s pretty major league to discover your wife has been having her end away with another bloke not only that but the bloke who’s engaged to her mother and it doesn’t stop there the bloke who has also got her mother up the duff as well! Oh yes Bianca was a one it didn’t take her long to drop her knickers for Dan – mind you who can blame her the biceps on him sod your mother when that’s on offer – and anyway as with all Walford affairs it had to come out surely to christ!

And it did! Bianca had an old photo of herself and Dan from the past when they’d had a brief relationship with eachother – how convenient that neither of them thought to get rid of it not letting the small matter that he was about to marry her mother get in the way of a lousy momento. Carol found the photo pieced together that this man had given her daughter one at the tender age of just 15 and then discovered he’d also been giving her one in more recent memory as well. All hell broke loose, Carol aborted Dan’s baby, Bianca left for Manchester, Dan went off somewhere else and I can’t remember where Carol went off to her exit scene being that brief but she went as well.

Ricky and Bianca’s marriage now being over. These two did reunite in a crap soap bubble in 2002 where they slept together and currently they are both back in EastEnders – so will we see a continuation of their romance and another wedding on the cards? Let’s hope that this time Bianca can keep her knickers on! Not that Ricky’s any sort of saint sleeping with Natalie Bianca’s best friend at the time and then later almost sleeping with Teresa di Marco.
Terry and Irene

Length of marriage: Still married
Marriage ended in: N/A

Terry and Irene’s first attempt to tie the knot was a lively affair wasn’t it? What with him still being married to his ‘ex’-wife who turned up to stop the wedding. Needless to say he was in the doghouse well until they both decided to go on the honeymoon together anyway – well why waste a good holiday – I mean maybe Terry forgot he’d been married before could happen to anyone I don’t think. They reconciled going off on the honeymoon together and then returned to Walford. You would think now would be a good point to dump a man who had just tried to commit bigamy and shown you up at the altar. After all you’ve had your holiday. Instead Irene stood by Terry and they did eventually tie the knot in a private registry office affair later on after he’d gone through the small necessity of divorcing his previous wife this time.

You’d think Irene would be fairly happy with this man after she’d stood by him through all that but oh no she’s another one who couldn’t keep her knickers on ‘n’ they were off like a bat out of hell. Irene began an affair with a young boy named Troy who was staying with them. Terry found out in typical EastEnders style on christmas day and so that put paid to that. Irene became more menopausal than ever and dumped Terry during a holiday abroad in 2000 – the same Holiday where Pat and Frank went at it like two walruses on the discovery channel. This was the end of Terry and Irene’s marriage. Terry did however head off to find his wife a couple of years later after receiving a post card. He’d had been better off trying Sun Hill police station first and asking for Inspector Gina Gold.
Frank and Peggy

Length of marriage: 1 year
Marriage ended in: Divorce (adultery)

An unlikely pairing really since they had been sworn enemies from the days of Frank’s son marrying her daughter. But after Frank’s marriage to Pat finally came to an end Peggy and Frank began a romance and love blossomed between the pair. Then Peggy’s cancer returns – well come on folks this is EastEnders – and she was unsure whether or not she would go through with the wedding. Course it went ahead and they did eventually tie the knot in April 1999.

Things seemed to be working out well for the pair even with Frank’s daughter the by now funny fledged child of satan absconding upon the pub to live with them. The constant battle of wits with Janine did eventually begin to take its toll but it was Frank’s lust for ex-wife Pat that eventually killed the marriage in the end. Frank began an affair with Pat just a year into his marriage to Peggy. Frank even turned up on Pat’s doorstep wearing nothing but a bow tie much to the horror of the great British public watching at home. Pat and Frank eventually decided to run away from Walford but Pat got cold feet and demanded that they returned to the square. Frank, however, had already left Peggy a note with details of his deception. Was it too late? ‘Fraid so! Frank returned to Walford and had to face the music when Peggy read the note and then proceeded to read it to everyone in the pub on fireworks night a second time. Frank got slapped then Pat got slapped her earring disappeared though it was back in the next shot – hmm continuity. True to form Frank scarpered and that was the end of his marriage to Peggy who later discovered he’d been cooking the books for her beloved pub all along the swine!
Ian and Mel & Natalie and Barry

Length of marriage: Only a few hours (Ian and Mel)
Length of marriage: 3 years (Natalie and Barry)
Marriage ended in: Divorce (Ian and Mel) (irreconcilable differences)
Marriage ended in: Divorce (Natalie and Barry) (adultery)
  • Walford’s first and to date only double wedding

Ian Beale Walford’s soon to be serial groom tied the knot with wife number 2 the pretty Mel Healy in this lavish affair in a registry office overlooking the millenium dome. The marriage was pretty doomed from the start really with Mel being pressured to go through with it thanks to Ian telling her his daughter had a terminal illness – a thing any rational father would say no doubt. Mel had just slept with Steve Owen a couple of weeks before the wedding and clearly had a desire to repeat the experience – Ian even gained knowledge of the fact Mel hadn’t kept her legs shut when Steve came a calling but Ian was all ready to forgive. You could almost smell the desperation. It later transpired that Ian had been lying about his daughter’s terminal illness all along and he was promptly dumped at the wedding reception making this the shortest marriage in Walford history – well where both parties lived to see another day.

Natalie and Barry meanwhile were Walford’s resident comedy couple – EastEnders of course deciding to try its hand at comedy every now and then which sadly rarely works. These two however weren’t bad really. They did work well as a couple. They tied the knot in a double wedding with Ian and Mel but thankfully their marriage wasn’t as doomed as theirs was. Well not until Barry became terminally unemployable while she started going after old flame Ricky Butcher. Their marriage ended when Barry discovered Natalie was about to flee with Ricky. He pleaded with her not to go and in the end she didn’t – go off with Ricky that is – she took their son and left on her own. This was after discovering Ricky had been sniffing around his old flame Sam Mitchell. Oh it’s all complicated in Walford darling the key thing to remeber is that they’re all inbred and everyone’s usually related to Pat somehow! If you can remember that you’re sorted.
Steve and Mel

Length of marriage: 1 year
Marriage ended in: Death

Steve and Mel’s journey to the altar was far from smooth not half because Steve had discovered Mel slept with Phil the christmas before. Nontheless Mr and Mrs Owen did manage to wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start. But boys will be boys and Steve and Phil’s mutual dislike of eachother turned into a long running feud which eventually resulted in Steve’s death.
A turbulent and short lived union needless to say the Owen’s marriage was dead in the water with him being nothing more than a pile of ashes. After Steve died, Mel discovered he’d been using her name for money laundering scams and was banged up in the clink.
Ian and Laura

Length of marriage: 1 year
Marriage ended in: Divorce (adultery)

Wife number 3 for Ian he’s catching up to Pat now. This time he married his one time nanny Laura Dunn. He was on his uppers of course at this point having got greedy and lost everything while she owned the fish and chip outlet that he had once owned. Maybe that had something to do with his decision to get a ring on her finger who knows. She’d soon regret her decision to marry this slimey toad later on when he got his jollies off then prostitute Janine (remember her Frank’s devil child – who’d long since gone from wetting the bed as a child to err well wetting the bed in another sense of the word) – Laura found out but forgave Ian. Sadly he didn’t afford her the same courtesy when she fell pregnant with Garry Hobbs’ baby. Laura had wanted a baby with Ian for a long time and they rowed constantly about having one and about their financial situation and the control Ian had over the business with Laura bossing Ian around. Eventually Laura seeked comfort in Garry’s arms – well anyone’s an improvement on Ian Beale – but fell pregnant. Ian threw her out on christmas day 2002 and they divorced soon after. Ian later discovered Laura’s baby was his after all after a failed vasectomy but by this point there was no going back since she’d met her match in the form of a cuddly toy strategically placed at the top of the stairs.
Garry and Lynne

Length of marriage: 3 years
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

Garry and Lynne first came into the programme in 2000 and for a while their storyline seemed to consist of Garry avoiding popping the question to Lynne. Viewers were left wondering would these two EVER tie the knot? Well eventually they did but not after she’d had an affair with Beppe di Marco and her ex who had previously stood her up at the altar Jason.
They later broke up when Garry had a baby with Denis Waterman’s daughter before reconciling shortly afterwards. Lynne wanted a baby herself but struggled to fall pregnant. She did eventually conceive but tragically lost the baby in the hideous ‘cardboard fun fair’ disaster of 2004 in the square. Lynne left Walford and Garry behind for a new life spelling the end of this marriage.
Dot and Jim

Length of marriage: Still married
Marriage ended in: N/A

Jim Branning ex-racist and someone who likes to bet his money on the nags and wile away the hours drinking pints in the Queen Vic. Not the ideal man for Dot by any means but compared to her first bigamist husband Charlie who couldn’t keep his hands out of her purse he was a saint! Jim proposed on the London Eye and they married on St. Valentine’s Day 2002.
A long and content marriage followed until tragedy struck when Jim had a stroke in 2007. Jim and Dot now live apart with Dot being on the square while Jim resides in a care home. Despite this their marriage remains strong.
Mark and Lisa

Length of marriage: Only a few months
Marriage ended in: Divorce (adultery)

Mark and Lisa were sort of thrown together because it was convenient for them to be together. He came along and rescued her during a time where Phil was being abusive towards her. Lisa paid him back by pretending to everyone that the baby she was carrying was her and Mark’s and not Phil’s. These two tied the knot in March 2002. They had a reasonably happy marriage until Lisa started seeing bullyboy Phil behind Mark’s back again sending their happiness down the toilet in the process.
Phil of course was not interested in what Lisa had to offer he was more interested in what came with her like being able to spend time with his precious daughter. Lisa began to feel the Mitchells were taking over her life again so she scarpered leaving Mark and Walford behind for good.
Billy and Little Mo

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

Billy and Little Mo tied the knot at christmas 2002 but it wasn’t all the stuff of fairytale. It took them almost a year to get together and shake off Mo’s violent hubby the evil Trevor. They tied the knot on christmas day but it was a bittersweet day as whilst they took their vows Billy’s nephew Jamie was taking his last breath. They were perfect for eachother with Little Mo being abe to forgive Billy for his past sins and Billy seemingly turning over a new leaf but tragedy struck when Little Mo was raped at the Vic and left Walford pregnant with her rapist’s baby. Little Mo returned a year later and did briefly reunite with Billy but their union was not to last when Billy couldn’t get his head round the fact that Mo’s baby wasn’t his baby too. They quickly split up and divorced amicably. A year later Mo started lusting after Billy again but by this time he had a new girlfriend in the shape of ditzy Honey who was almost a clone of her really. Little Mo left Walford a few months later while Billy went on to marry Honey…more on that later.
Phil and Kate

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year
Marriage ended in: Divorce (irreconcilable differences)

Phil met Kate when Jamie was in hospital following his car accident. They later started seeing eachother it was a gentle romance aided by his interfering mother Peggy. Things turned sour in their relationship when Phil discovered Kate was in fact an undercover cop who was trying to frame him for the disappearance of his wife Lisa. Needless to say Phil chucked her aht and that was seemingly the end of Kate. A short while later however Phil discovered that Kate was now working as an undercover cop at a club run by the local top gangster Jack Dalton. Phil realised Jack was on to Kate and rescued her as she was about to be murdered by one of Jack’s henchmen.
Phil and Kate began seeing eachother again and their relationship managed to survive both the return of Lisa and the nutty nanny’s crush on Phil. They tied the knot in September 2003. Their marriage was incredibly shortlived because Phil decided to return to his bad old ways and take part in a warehouse robbery with arch-enemy Den Watts. Phil didn’t realise that Den was actually fitting him up for his treatment of his princess and Phil was banged up while Den walked free. Kate fled Walford furious with Phil but first rubbed salt into the wounds by handing back his daughter Louise to her mother Lisa.
Kat and Andy

Length of marriage: N/A
Marriage ended in: N/A

Kat attempted to tie the knot with local ‘gangster’ Andy Hunter in 2003 until none other than Shane Richie came bursting through the doors of the church declaring his love for her.
We are of course taking about Shane ‘playing’ Alfie Moon though it’s probably more apt to describe Alfie as Shane’s alter-ego than a character.
Kat and Andy were unsuccessful in tying the knot and the nation breathed a sigh of relief as Kat and Alfie who were a very popular couple at the time got together.
Kat and Alfie

Length of marriage: Still married
Marriage ended in: N/A
  • Kat and Alfie were married in the Queen Vic the first and only time this has happened.

Kat and Alfie’s wedding was unique it was the first wedding to take place in the Queen Vic of all places. Probably in part you can imagine to the powers that be bowing down to the diva demands of Wallace or Richie or maybe even both of them. The wedding wasn’t without drama as Alfie confessed his divorce to previous wife Liza had not come through and that the registrar in front of them was not a real one but instead the guy from Little Britain.

As with all soap plotlines the divorce came through at the last minute on christmas day would you believe and the real registrar turned up and decided to marry the couple after all. Their marriage didn’t last long before it hit stormy waters when Alfie discovered Kat had let Andy invade her tight spot in order to get him out of his financial one. (Basically Alfie owed Andy money) needless to say the marriage was on the rocks from then on. Kat hit the bottle and cheated on Alfie again this time with a guy called Roger who she’d only just met the slut!

Kat finally left Walford in November 2004 but returned a few months later hoping to patch things up with her estranged hubby. Alfie wasn’t interested on the surface as by now he’d already started wooing Kat’s less bolshier sister Little Mo the dirty dog! Alfie eventually realised he still had feelings for Kat and let poor Mo down gently. But it was too late Kat discovered the deceit and all hell broke loose. The pair later reunited when Alfie’s endearing grandmother fell ill and they left Walford together at Christmas 2005 following her death.
Janine and Barry

Length of marriage: 1 day.
Marriage ended in: Death

Janine married Barry on New Years Eve 2003 but she was of course only with him for his money in typical Janine style. Instead the real man Janine desired was Paul Trueman. Paul and Janine were conning Barry for his money and Barry being totally dim did not realise this despite the fact it had happened to him before. You would’ve thought he would’ve recognised the signs after slippery ‘businesswoman’ Vanessa left him on his uppers only a few years earlier and this was Janine conning him this time who couldn’t have been more obvious.
The convenient timing of their relationship for a start just after Barry’s father Roy had passed away leaving Barry in a deep depression. Paul begged Janine not to go through with the wedding and to give up on their plan to fleece Barry and marry themselves. Janine thought about it for all of 2 seconds but her heart by this point was true to form truly set on the money and Janine married Barry. Their marriage was short lived if you can call barely a day short lived. Janine decided she would confess all to Barry when he confessed all to her that he had been given a clean bill of health and was likely to live for years instead of the few months she was anticipating (she thought Barry was having heart trouble). Janine pushed Barry away from her and Barry went rolling down a cliff and died at the bottom of it.
Martin and Sonia

Length of marriage: 2 years
Marriage ended in: Divorce (adultery)

Martin and Sonia were next to the knot in 2004. The ceremony went smoothly probably in part to his interfering mother and her interfering step-grandmother Dot and Pauline being cut out of the proceedings. It was a strange marriage despite previously having a daughter together since only a couple of years before Martin had run over and killed the love of Sonia’s life Jamie. Their marriage ran into problems when he started being stalked by a strange girl named Sarah while she later decided life at the Fowlers was not for her and decided to see what was on Naomi Julien’s plate instead of her husband’s – something rather more fishy one would imagine!
Pauline was determined to keep Martin and Sonia apart by now ravaged with hate for that slag Sonia who couldn’t keep her knickers on despite having a face that looked as if butter wouldn’t melt. Pauline was right in a sense, Sonia could be difficult – this is the girl who terrorised her own family with a trumpet after all. Martin and Plasticine Face Wallace sorry Sonia reunited but Pauline wasn’t having any of it so decided she would do a Angie Watts and invent a brain tumour for herself. Martin found out the awful truth that she had lied and decided he wanted nothing more to do with his mother. Pauline died on Christmas Day 2006 and after briefly blaming Sonia for her death mistakenly – Martin and Sonia left Walford together to start a new life.
Andy and Sam

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year
Marriage ended in: Death

Andy was only using dumb blonde Sam for her money. By this time Phil was banged up on an armed robbery charge and Sam had been left in charge of the Mitchell empire. No wonder Sam is known as a dumb blonde. They married in September 2004 but it wasn’t all plain sailing for the couple as Sam’s mother Peggy returned for the wedding and the lovelorn Minty was quick to spit poison in her ear about Sam’s intended.
Peggy confronted Andy but he managed to convince her that Minty was making everything up because he had the hots for Sam. Peggy believed Andy and once again left the square to return to Grant in Brazil.
Only a few months later Andy had managed to get Sam to sign their house over to him and after Den had conned Sam out of the Vic Andy decided to throw her out.
Patrick and Yolande

Length of marriage: 4 years
Marriage ended in: N/A (divorce proceedings are currently underway)

Patrick and Yolande tied the knot in 2004 after Yolande left her first husband Victor to be with Patrick.
The Truemans enjoyed several years of happy married life until Yolande discovered that Patrick had been cheating on her with neighbourhood bike Pat Evans.
Yolande decided to leave Walford but quickly returned and agreed to give things another go with Patrick. Yolande left Patrick for good in 2008 when she was offered a job in brummie land. Patrick decided he would rather stay in Walford and Yolande was quick to file for divorce.
Dennis and Sharon

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year
Marriage ended in: Death

Dennis and Sharon tied the knot in the summer of 2005 but their journey to married life was not a smooth one. Dennis was Den’s son while Sharon was his adpted daughter. Den made life as difficult as possible for the lovebirds and eventually they split. Dennis got together with Zoe Slater another spanner in the works of his desire to be with Sharon. In the end Dennis and Sharon decided they couldn’t care less about Den and Zoe and got back together. They announced they were back together during a family christmas dinner and planned to leave Walford until Zoe announced she was pregnant – another one of Den’s masterplans.
Dennis Watts publican of the Queen Vic once more was killed off once more when wife Chrissie discovered he had been sleeping with Zoe in order to get her pregnant. Chrissie bumped Den off. Dennis and Sharon meanwhile had both left Walford. They returned together in the summer of that year and tied the knot in August but they got the shock of their lives when Sam Mitchell in a drunken rage unearthed the body of their father Den from beneath the Vic’s cellar. Dennis later got into a fued with the latest gangster on the streets of Walford Johnny Allen who arranged Dennis’ demise at the hands of Danny Moon on new years eve 2005 after Dennis had given him a vicious beating.
Joe and Pauline

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year
Marriage ended in: Death

Joe and Pauline tied the knot in February 2006 to celebrate 21 years of EastEnders. The marriage didn’t work out because Pauline’s heart was never truly in it and she couldn’t stop hankering after her beloved Arthur who had died several years earlier. Their marriage first ran into difficulty when Pauline discovered that Joe had been to prison for breaking into people’s houses – not that she could say much the old hypocrite what with her Arthur, Mark and Martin all being on the wrong side of the law down the years. Pauline later became consumed with hate for Sonia and keeping Martin and Sonia apart and Joe was neglected in the process. Joe and Pauline’s marriage eventually came to a head in December 2006 – she smashed a plate over his head and he hit her with a frying pan – (an instrument she’d once clocked first hubby Arthur over his nut with ironically) – nice to know it ended on an ambicable note then. Pauline later died from this blow to the head.
Billy and Honey

Length of marriage: 2 years (but technically still married)
Marriage ended in: N/A

Billy and Honey, just like Michelle and Lofty, had more than one attempt at tying the knot. 3 times in total! Honey fainted on her first wedding day, the second was a complete farce and finally they managed to tie the knot third time lucky but only just. Honey went into labour during the ceremony and gave birth to daughter baby Petal who was unfortunately diagnosed with having Downs.
Honey and Billy’s relationship was tested for the first time when Honey wanted to give Petal up for adoption while he was insistent on keeping her. They eventually reconciled when Honey had a change of heart but their relationship broke down in late 2008 when Billy’s job as a getaway driver for Jase Dyer spelt the end of the trust in their relationship.
Ian and Jane

Length of marriage: Still married
Marriage ended in: N/A

Ian Beale’s fourth and so far final marriage is to Jane Collins. Another couple who’s first attempt to get married didn’t quite go according to plan. Ian discovered that Jane had cheated on him with none ther than Grant Mitchell. He arranged to humiliate her on their wedding day but Jane got a tip off from Phil and didn’t attend the wedding. Ian found Jane and they had a huge fight on the allotments.
This brought them to their senses and they both realised how stupid they’d been taking the other for granted. Ian and Jane reunited and they tied the knot in a small registry office affair in the summer of 2007. Their marriage is still going strong despite Jane often being exasperated by her skinflint hubby.
Kevin and Denise

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year
Marriage ended in: Death

Kevin and Denise married in April 2007 despite Kevin’s ex-wife’s Shirley’s attempts to put a stop to proceedings by revealing she’d slept with the groom. Kevin and Denise eventually married – on Denise’s part more to spite Shirley.
Denise soon forgave Kevin and they settled into family life dysfunctional family life but family life nontheless. Their marriage ended abruply on New Years Eve 2007 when Kevin crashed a cut and shut car he was trying to get rid of and was instantly killed.
Bradley and Stacey

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year (but technically still married)
Marriage ended in: N/A

Bradley and Stacey’s marriage was another that was doomed from the start since Stacey had been sleeping with her future father in law in revenge for Bradley dumping her at his work’s christmas party. Bradley and Stacey tied the knot in November 2007 but the revelation of her affair with Max was soon to be exposed. Knowledge of the affair was gained by Max’s daughter Lauren when she left her camcorder on in Max’s bedroom. A final tender moment shared between Max and Stacey proved fatal when it was captured on the camcorder.
Lauren transferred the video to DVD and the stage was set for a showdown. At the last minute Lauren had a change of heart and put the DVD in the bin but Tanya fished it out again.The Branning family all sat down at christmas to watch what they believed to be Bradley and Stacey’s wedding DVD. As the affair was exposed all hell broke loose at no.5 Albert Square leaving the Branning family in tatters.
Bradley and Stacey’s marriage was over. Bradley and Stacey later reunited in the summer of 2008 but broke up again soon after when Stacey realised she wanted different things out of life and was too young to settle down and have a baby.
Minty and Heather

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year (but technically still married)
Marriage ended in: N/A

Minty and Heather tied the knot in April 2008 as part of a magazine competition.
Needless to say a marriage with that kind of grounding didn’t last long and it ended before it had even begun. Despite Heather developing real feelings for Minty they soon split up when she thought her husband was about to cheat on her.
Sean and Roxy

Length of marriage: Less than 1 year (but technically still married)
Marriage ended in: N/A

Sean and Roxy tied the knot in the summer of 2008 after she fell pregnant following their one night stand. Roxy told Sean it was his baby neglecting to mention that her sister’s boyfriend well ex at the time could also be in the frame for paternity. Sean and Roxy’s marriage survived an attempt to break them up by her control freak father Archie but at christmas that year thanks to Archie Sean discovered the truth that he wasn’t baby Amy’s father.
Sean left Walford but not before deciding to take his own life by driving him, Roxy and ‘their’ baby into a frozen lake. Roxy managed to save her daughter from a dunking in the cold icy depths but she and Sean went under. After being rescued by Ronnie, Roxy saw Sean emerge from the murky depths but told him to leave once and for all and Sean slunk away.
Janine and David Bernstein

Length of marriage: Just a few minutes
Marriage ended in: Death

Janine married Mr Bernstein in December 2008 but happiness was short lived when he died of a heart attack at their wedding in the synogogue. Yes David was a rich jew a successful lingerie tycoon and this was all another one of Janine’s money making schemes. David found out what she was up to when Pat stopped the wedding in spectacular “I’m her stepmother and she’s about as jewish as a bacon sandwich!” style.
David had a heart attack and died at the ceremony which Janine quickly got over when she discovered she had been named in his will. Sadly for Janine all she got was a stuffed cat for her troubles but later discovered there was a bundle of cash hidden away inside the cat.
Peggy and Archie

Length of marriage: ??
Marriage ended in: ??

The next Walford couple to tie the knot will be Peggy and Archie Mitchell – will it be happy ever for them or will they crash and burn at the first hurdle?

You never can tell with EastEnders but they more than likely will crash and burn eventually if they make it passed the wedding reception that’s just the start.

If past experience is anything to go by somehow we have a feeling this one is about to go horribly wrong. Don’t miss EastEnders tonight on BBC1.
Our conclusion:

  • Not all Walford Weddings are doomed but most of them are.
  • Out of the 39 couples above that actually tied the knot only 5 are still together.
  • The longest on screen marriage is that of Pauline and Arthur Fowler but as these two were married off screen the next longest on screen marriage is that of Pat and Frank and Pat and Roy surprisingly. Pat’s marriages to both Roy and Frank lasted an incredible 7 years a piece not bad for someone who once made a living on their back. Shame that at one time she cheated on one husband with the other – nice! We should point out Frank spent a year ‘missing’ during his marriage to Pat.
  • The shortest on screen marriage is that of Janine ‘Judith’ Bernstein and her husband David who tied the knot last December – he died only minutes after the ceremony was completed. Runners up are Mark and tragic Gill Fowler who were married for just a few short hours. Mel and Ian also come runners up – she walked out on him at the reception! Another of Janine’s marriages is in fourth place as poor Barry died the day after they tied the knot.
  • One of the most astonishing facts we found when looking back at past Walford weddings was that a staggering 14 couples were married for less than only one year proving wedded bliss is a rare thing in Albert Square.
  • 18 marriages ended in divorce while 12 ended with the death of one spouse. The biggest cause for divorce in Walford is irreconcilable differences. And there was us thinking it would be adultery.
A piece of advice to any future Walford couples who are considering marriage – don’t tie the knot in Walford!
Don’t miss tonight’s dramatic episode of EastEnders an hour long from 7.30pm on BBC One.
Don’t forget to check out our picture preview of the wedding here>>>