TV File: May 2009

Let’s take a look back at television news from May 2009; in this months edition we take to the dance floor with Richard and Judy, find out which television stars want to take on the corrupt and truth-less MPs while Jimmy is reunited with his old fix it friend, Susan Boyle has a odd turn on Britain’s Dubious Talent Show and the search to discover if Piers Morgan has any talent of his own continues.

Over Boyled


She’s been everywhere since first appearing on the ITV hit-series, Britain’s Got Talent – and now it seems poor Susan Boyle has been sent a bit doolally with all the press, public and television attention.

The public, no doubt sick of the sight of her, voted her into second place on Saturday’s live extravaganza with some strange dance troop taking top spot. (Pans People they’re not.)

Shame about Susan though, I was sure she’d be the next hairy rocker – like Meatloaf or ZZ Top.

Britain Has Talent

Staying with the Ant and Dec fronted show, it does indeed seem that the nation has some talent, so it was nice to note that this year the producers decided to focus on that rather than the sob stories of the contestants.

Just how it should be!

Let’s Dance

ITVRichard and Judy – famous for having one of the worst watched programmes in UK TV history are set to reach millions again, by becoming contestants on BBC One’s Strictly Come Dancing.

The only down side is they can’t both be voted off in the first week. We like Judy, we do. But we really don’t want to watch Strictly Gone Saggy with a touch of the wobbles. Moria Stewart, now there is someone we’d like to see strutting her funky stuff on the dance floor.

Take On The MPs

Esther Rantzen, former consumer champion on shows such as Braden’s Week and That’s Life! is just one a possible number of famous faces lining up to take on the greedy British MPs. Esther said that her new venture could: “hit exactly the same nerve as That’s Life did. I feel I still have the desire to work with people.”

LWTThe 68-year-old was prompted into possibly standing as a candidate in Luton South after current Labour MP Margaret Moran claimed £22,500 for treating dry rot at her home in Southampton.

It seems Luton is ready for Esther, comments shouted to her on a recent visit include: “Go for it, Esther”, “I hope you win” and “I’ll vote for you”.

Former Watchdog presenter Lynn Faulds Wood has also suggested she would also be willing to possibly take on one of the disgraceful cost un-effective MPs.

Give Sir Jim A Seat

BBCSir Jimmy Savile was reunited with the Jim’ll Fix It red velvet armchair, which he thought had been destroyed when the show ended in 1994, at its new home in a Leeds museum – which pays tribute solely to Savile himself.

The chair is to become a ‘centre-point’ of the Saviles Hall exhibition centre after it was bought from a seller on Ebay.

The 82-year-old former Top Of The Pops Presenter said he felt emotional sitting on the chair, which he thought had been dismantled fifteen years ago.

The unique seat features electronic drawers and pop out compartments and was a mainstay across the entire two-decade run of Jim’ll Fix It. Savile told the BBC: “I’m very pleased the chair is still here and I’m looking forward to sitting in it a few more times.”

The seat in its final years was red, but had been re-covered a number of times, including a phase being blue (pictured)

Doing The Splits – News In Short

  • Peter Andre and Katie “Jordan” Price spilt up in May. Fair enough.

  • The cast of The Cosby Show reunited to celebrate 25 years since the comedy first launched

  • ITV plan a new CITV show to “rival” the long running BBC magazine show Blue Peter. I don’t think the BBC has anything to fear. It will be fronted by Zoe Salmon, if you care.

  • Paris Hilton branded MTV’s scripted reality series The Hills as “so lame and fake“. Pot, kettle, black love.

Making a Boob Of It

Anglia TVThe reason why mothers apparently go to Iceland – Kerry Katona – made another boob on television last week, this time appearing on GMTV.

Last year Katona made an infamous appearance on ITV’s This Morning which she has since described as leaving her “nationally embarrassed” after she slurred her way through the interview.

This time, she kept squeezing her bust together and talking about her boobs, which I should add were nearly falling out of her low-cut top. Two tits on GMTV… In the old days we just had the one… Fiona.

How To Design The New GMTV Logo

Staying with ITV breakfast time, you may have noticed – although likely you haven’t – that GMTV earlier this year had a bit of a revamp to cast off its former image as nothing more than dumbed down cheap tat. Here we can exclusively reveal how it was done…

Make a rectangle then take some inspiration from the edges of Findus, mix with the Iceland colours and plonk GMTV on top. “Simples” as that meercat would say.

And Finally

Has Piers Got Talent?

Yes we’re still looking for any evidence Piers Morgan has any actual talent… …as yet, we still can’t find anything that would suggest he does, although Susan Boyle seems to like him…