Twitterspoons – Twitter is no more than a glorified pub

MY WORD: At ATV we use Twitter to alert an apparent community of our latest news, but I hate Twitter so much i’ve grown to accept it.

I hate Twitter – it’s everything that I don’t find accepting in life. Most people sit around posting short messages about what they think, what they are up to and so on and try desperately to get a reply from a celebrity. Of course,it would help if you were also a celebrity. Nothing like a bit of brown sludge to wipe your cheeks on and then smear it all over your keyboard.

 

We use Twitter at ATV because it apparently helps us reach our audience much quicker. Twitter is a pub. Twitter is essentially a shitty blue wall papered bird tweeting hell hole of a pub where ‘millions’ of people engage in tweeting rubbish, getting into arguments, posting jokes, retweeting one gobshites comment to followers and so on. Its a pub!. The Twitter page which I manage for ATV is essentially the local community board posting the latest going on in town, the followers are a mix of people who want to know, and those drunk or trying to sell cheese. Only differences being I sit at home and drink and don’t need to interact with humans.

 

I hate it so much, but then I can’t help myself posting if someone mentions us, or if is see something I want to comment on. I never thought i’d find myself having fallen into the bowels of a cult led by a blue (sometimes white, depending how drunk it is) bird and Stephen Fry.

 

Feel free to leave comments below.

All the best

Shaun Linden, Chief UK Reporter for ATV Today who never knowingly cared.

 

 

NEXT WEEK

“You end another programme 7minutes early and i’ll cut your flaming balls off!” – my anger at programmes ending early.