Word on the Web: Ian Beale’s EastEnders tramp return

The BBC have released an unintentionally hilarious photograph of Ian Beale returning to Albert Square. The supposedly ‘shocking’ image has lead to much laughter,  so let’s see what’s been said online about EastEnders’ most unluckiest businessman with a stick-on beard.

EastEnders viewers have watched as the character of Ian had slowly slipped into a depression, after months of mounting ­financial problems which culminated with him discovering that his half-brother Ben Mitchell had murdered poor Heather Trott – as well as the script. And so he did a runner, and for the past few weeks no one has known where the Walford businessman was.

The photograph, showing ‘tramp’ Ian with copious amounts of facial hair, yet a lovely washed face and clean top, has supposedly been living ‘rough’ on the streets of London.

“When he returns she [Lucy, his daughter] is barely able to recognise him. He is in a right mess and looks like a tramp.” Said a BBC ‘insider’ in The Mirror.

He’s the cleanest tramp we’ve ever seen. But what has the web been saying about the latest ‘dramatic’ twist from the flagship BBC saga.

“LOL that beard is so fake, you can even see the line. No no no. Why do they do this? It doesn’t even match his hair color. I love how they gave him a ‘tramp’ hat. I can imagine those BBC nitwits from Hampstead discussing what a homeless person would look like. Obviously the tatty wooly hat is a must, tramp shoes & extra long beard.” – Miss Ann said on SoapChat

“LOL! So he can’t afford a razor, but seems no problem in having clean clothes and a lovely clean face… it really is turning into Neighbours this show.” Said Mike on the TV Times page at Facebook

“Reminds me of either a Smurf or one of the seven dwarfs..” Ome said on SoapChat

“If I didn’t know better I’d say it was what Home and Away would make a tramp look like. LOL! This comes from the show that has fairy lights all over the square at Christmas so reality obviously left the programme when Julia Smith closed the door behind her.” – Martin said on Facebook

“He looks stupid, silly get up.” – Paul said on the TV Times Facebook page with “Wot a load of crap u can tell its stuck on crap.” Added Sheila over the stuck-on pubic hair of a beard on his chin.

“…his appearance shocks everyone.” Well, who wouldn’t be shocked? He’s been missing for a few weeks and sprouted a year’s worth of beard.” Said Steve on Unreality TV

“He suffered a breakdown, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner all the depressing s**t he’s had to try and act through over the years.” Elaine said on Facebook

“You have to admit, it’s a far better look than that mustache he wore a while ago.” – Said MelODrama on SoapChat

“Sleeping rough, looking like a tramp, shame about the nice clean, ironed polo shirt” – Mick said on the TV Times page at Facebook

“LOL welcome to Neighbours UK. So he can’t afford a razor for the beard but he can afford a laundrette by the look of his clobber.” – Said Tony on SoapChat

“OMG he looks like a gnome!” – Kelly said on the TV Times Facebook page while Jaye proclaimed “Catweazle!” and yes… it seems he is a ringer for the former ITV children’s character, pictured right.

“It’s a bit implausible though eh? No one can transform themselves that quick in just four or five weeks. Beards don’t grow that quick surely??? Ha ha ha….it’s hilarious the way the soaps are getting so ridiculous lately” – said Hardraw Force on SoapChat.

“It looks very pantomime and how did Beale manage to keep his clothes squeaky clean? And why are there no dirt marks on his face? Hair grows at about half an inch a month and Ian will have been gone for 6 weeks. Hair as long as that takes about 8 or 9 months to get that long and Ian had short tidy hair when he was last seen about a month ago. In reality it would be only a bit longer than when we last saw it and the beard not even half the length seen in the pic.” pointed out EDFan on SoapChat

Jenni Regan, of charity Time to Change, told the Mirror “We set up a meeting between the scriptwriters and someone who has suffered from depression so they could reflect accurately what Ian has been going through.”

Almost accurately surely… For those of us old enough we’ll remember when EastEnders pulled off a brilliant storyline involving depression when Arthur Fowler fell into a decline back in the 1980s, and at least poor Arthur didn’t look like a cross between a Bearded Collie and Benny from Crossroads.

EastEnders airs on BBC One

5 comments

  • Dirty Den's Webcam

    LOL you’d expect something as funny as that on Doctors!!!! Kids running the corporation these days eh???

  • My parents have stopped watching they say its childish!

  • EastEnders really is pathetic isn’t it now? God even Brookside was better than this childish dross.

  • Another realistic plot from a show thats sold its soul for kids ratings!

  • LOL like anyone would have believed that was a real beard, this show really is sh**e. LOL the plot having it as fake was just pure Hollyoaks… sack the writers, storyliners and anyone else involved with this drivel!