Telly Today: Tribes, predators, gold lame pants and the world’s biggest penis

September 14, 2017

Thursday telly highlights for September 14th with ATV Today Editor Shaun Linden.

BBC Highlights

Best Album Of The Year – Mercury Prize Live 2017, BBC Four, 9pm

In this hour-long programme Lauren Laverne hosts this year’s prestigious Mercury Music Prize from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, London.

Each year, an esteemed collection of artists, broadcasters and tastemakers decide on what they believe to be the outstanding albums of the year from the UK and Ireland.

This shortlist is seen as reflecting and highlighting the diversity of the UK music scene and this year features grime, pop, jazz, rap and indie. As ever the albums and artists are an eclectic mix which include previous winners and a choice that has had the critics talking, Ed Sheeran.

During the show all the shortlisted albums will be celebrated through special performances, culminating in the live announcement of this year’s winner.

BBC Radio 6 Music will be covering the Mercury Prize live, with Tom Ravenscroft bringing listeners rolling coverage of the event as the evening unfolds, building up to the moment the winner is announced.

Tribes, Predators & Me, BBC Two, 9pm

Wildlife cameraman Gordon Buchanan joins a remote family of Kazakh nomads to learn about training golden eagles. For thousands of years these people in western Mongolia have formed a unique partnership with these iconic predators, who help them catch furs to survive the freezing winters.

Without Limits: Vietnam, BBC One, 8pm

This first episode in a two part series follows a unique group of travellers – six people with different disabilities – who are on an epic journey of almost 900 miles through Vietnam, a country still suffering the legacy of war with high numbers of disability from unexploded ordnance.

Although shadowed by film and safety crews, the group are in charge of their own destiny, navigating the route and the difficult access in a country ill-equipped for disability.

Celebrity Juice, ITV2 10pm

Keith Lemon hosts a brand new series of his outrageous low-brow, but much loved, z-list star show Celebrity Juice.

Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton are back as the team captains with this first edition welcoming singing sensation Charli XCX, Love Island favourites Chris and Kem and legendary comedian Johnny Vegas.

What debauchery does Keith have in store for his special guests tonight?

Safe House, ITV, STV and UTV, 9pm

When Tom was on the force he was resposnible for putting away a killer called the Crow, but he does not believe they have the right man in prison.

When a woman named Julie Delaney is abducted, he is convinced the Crow is back. As Julie’s partner John and daughter Dani are thought to be in danger, the couple offer their home as a safe house.

As the search for Julie intensifies, Tom and Sam have to deal with a restless John and an emotional Dani.

ITV Highlights

Bromans, ITV2, 9pm

In this brand new reality series, eight modern-day lads are thrown back in time to see if they can cut it as Roman gladiators. They will be joined on their journey back to ancient Rome by their girlfriends, and cameras will follow the couples as they immerse themselves in the ancient world.

The boys are trained by the fearsome “Doctore”, played by David McIntosh, and take part in daily, physical tasks in preparation for the grand final – a battle in front of a baying crowd in a coliseum. If they fail to make the grade, the would-be gladiators will be sent packing back to the 21st century.

If they make it to the Emperor’s games, they are in with a chance of taking home the Emperor’s gold. Throughout the competition, the Emperor’s assistant Dominus (Tom Bell) will act as the eyes and ears of the elusive Emperor. The boys’ girlfriends assist them in preparing for battle, as well as practising traditional Roman tasks like wine making and sculpting.

Narrating the proceedings is a real life Roman, Roman Kemp. In the first episode, some of Rome’s newest arrivals get off to a very revealing start when they don their Roman garments – togas and gold lame pants – for the first time.

ITV2 unleash the ‘Bromans’ at 9pm

The Best Of The Rest

A League of their Own, Sky 1, 9pm

Join James and the gang as a new series of the hilarious sports-based quiz show begins James Corden and the boys are back for a new series of the riotous panel show.

And guess who’s joining them in the opening episode? England and Tottenham Hotspur superstar Dele Alli, funnyman Stephen Mangan and comedian Rob Beckett.

Thing get dicey as the teams go head to head on a banger racing track before Jamie and Dele bid to break a record set by the most expensive footballer in the world, Neymar.

However, it’s the final challenge that really gets the knees knocking. During a test of pure bottle, Jamie and Freddie find themselves 15 metres above the studio floor and challenged to leap between two moving platforms. And, if that’s not nerve-jangling enough, afterwards, they’re forced to sing out the show with the cast of smash hit musical, Mamma Mia.

Duck Quacks Don’t Echo, Sky 1, 8pm

Are locals the best people to ask for directions? And can 30,000 jumping up and down cause an earthquake? Pull up a chair as host Lee Mack, The Great British Bake Off’s Noel Fielding and comedians Roisin Conaty and Jason Manford go to extreme lengths to put facts like these to the test.

The World’s Biggest Penis, More4, 10.15pm

Another chance to see this willy-focused documentary. Society celebrates the big penis. Seen as a sign of adequacy, virility and manliness, those lucky enough to be well endowed are heralded by both sexes and all sexualities. As women have always maintained, and men have always thought, size matters, but not in the way that most of us imagine.

Sometimes having a ‘Big Johnson’ is more of a problem than you’d guess. Meet the men, including the man claiming to have the world’s biggest penis, who reveal there is a bittersweet side to nature’s gift, and who lift the veil on a taboo subject to show the reality of what it’s like to have what all men dream of.