Telly Today: Ugly, ugly dogs

One to Watch: Wild Britain – Untaimed Coasts, Channel 5, 9pm

This series reveals the hidden lives of both the familiar and more unusual animals with which we share our island home. We meet a cast of engaging animal characters at key moments in their lives, as low-light cameras expose rarely seen nocturnal behaviour and macrolenses focus on these little-known Britons.

There are dramatic events at a grey seal colony in Norfolk. The females are only in season for a few hours, so it is crucial for the huge bulls to be in the right place at the right time—and that means fighting. A third of the world’s grey seals live in British waters, and numbers are soaring. From sandy beaches to soaring cliffs—in Anglesey, guillemots are setting up home on precarious ledges where their eggs will be safe from foxes and stoats. However, they soon come under attack from black-backed gulls.

The spectacular footage showcases the gulls’ pirating skills—and reveals the high stakes for the dedicated guillemot parents. On the sand dunes of the Sefton Coast, an exotic-looking sand lizard is on the lookout for love. Things change dramatically when a hunting kestrel appears. Dunes are hostile environments where only the strong survive —including the tiger beetle, the fastest insect on the planet. Its larvae ambush unwary ants, but by mimicking this prey, a solitary wasp turns the tables on this gruesome killer.

Finally, UK estuaries are internationally important destinations for migrating birds. Inthe Wash, 350,000knot gather to feed. But when a spring tide sweeps in, they are sent up in a pulsating cloud, one of the many fine sights on Britain’s coasts.

Holding Back The Years, BBC One, 9.15am

Former GMTV personality Fiona Phillips teams up with ex-BBC Breakfast anchor Bill Turnbull to present the second series of this beeb daily factual series. In today’s programme, Fiona investigates so-called ‘suckers lists’, where Britain’s pensioners are being targeted by con artists looking to steal their money. In Hull she finds a group who are fighting back – by giving locals the best advice on spotting the hustle.

The World’s Ugliest Pets, ITV including  UTV and STV, 8pm

ITV celebrates the World’s Ugliest Pets in all their glory, warts and all, in this brand new one-off programme. Host and animal lover Caroline Quentin shares her love for fabulously ugly furry friends taking a warm look at these unsightly animals and meeting everything from hairless guinea pigs and featherless chicks, to giant snails and very unfortunate-looking dogs.

Revealing she has five dogs, six cats, seven chickens and occasionally has pigs, sheep and turkeys, Caroline Quentin says: “I think all my animals are absolutely beautiful. But not all animals are drop-dead gorgeous. In their world, as in the human world, there’s the good, the bad and the ugly!” Starting her journey in the UK, Caroline meets some of the country’s most aesthetically-challenged pets to discover why some people have deliberately ugly animals and to explore why the Brits love an underdog.

Tattoo Fixers: X Rated, E4, 9pm

This Tattoo Fixers special looks back at the lewdest, crudest and downright rudest tattoos the artists have ever had to deal with.

In the show, Jay helps rid Lewis of a shocking holiday souvenir, Lou censors David’s distasteful dolly tatt, Sketch gives Bobby’s bunny a family-friendly makeover, and Alice helps Miguel quit his hands-on hobby. Meanwhile, Kieran’s tawdry trunk gets tamed, and Dave is relieved of his repulsive reptile.

The Standups, from today on Netflix

Netflix is serving up another round of non-stop laughs with the second series of the hit Original comedy special series, The Standups, featuring six 30-minute sets from six comic breakouts. Filmed live at the Globe Theatre in Los Angeles, The Standups features the comedic talents of Rachel Feinstein, Kyle Kinane, Joe List, Brent Morin, Aparna Nancherla, and Gina Yashere.

Fans can also look back to the first run of episodes on Netflix as series one is available to view again featuring six 30-minute episodes where six up-and-coming comedians take the mic to show off their material to the world. Recorded at the Cicada Restaurant and Club in Los Angeles, each comic brings a uniquely fresh and hilarious take on life in this intimate series of comedy shows. This first series features the comedic talents of Nate Bargatze, Deon Cole, Fortune Feimster, Nikki Glaser, Dan Soder and Beth Stelling.

Portrait Artist of the Year 2018, Sky Arts, 8pm and 9pm

Following the series finale at 8pm the show is followed by a special film which joins the Sky Arts Portrait Artist of the Year 2018 winner to take a look at their journey through the competition and their stunning artwork to date as they get to work on a £10,000 commission to paint a portrait of Sex and the City actress Kim Cattrall.

Having wowed all three judges – award-winning artist Tai Shan Schierenberg, independent curator Kathleen Soriano and Art historian Kate Bryan – this year’s champion reflects on how the £10,000 commission will impact their career and how the experience as a whole has helped shape them as an artist.

This new chapter of their career begins by meeting Kim Cattrall, the English-Canadian actress who is best known for her role as man-eating PR guru Samantha Jones in HBO’s multi-award-winning comedy series Sex and the City. As artist and sitter converse throughout the day, we gain a fascinating insight into this intimate artistic process and eagerly await the grand reveal of this career-defining portrait.