Blake Fielder-Civil talks to ITV
Blake Fielder-Civil spoke exclusively to Jeremy Kyle in his first TV interview about marrying and divorcing Amy Winehouse and drug addiction. Fielder-Civil is a former drug addict, who was married to the Back To Black singer who died in 2011, and has been in rehab three times. He has been clean from drugs since he stopped taking methadone in January 2012. He has a partner Sarah Aspin who he has two children with.
The chat as follows:
On taking drugs with Amy.
B:“I think someone people they don’t know or they don’t realise but as far as using heroin or crack goes, I mean the cocaine use was recreational to be honest, out of maybe a six or seven year relationship that me and Amy had on and off there was drug use for about four months together.”
On taking heroin and Amy’s first time taking heroin.
B: “I’ve admitted I was there when she had it first time, yeah yeah it was my doing I don’t think she would have ever experienced it without me.”
B: “I had maybe had it three or four times and we were in a hotel in East London and for some reason I think I had about ten pounds of heroin with me which is something we used to do after a club. I was smoking it on foil and she said can I try some and I said.. I might have put up a weak resistance… the fact is whatever I said she did end up having some.”
B: “I have to be really sort of conscious about what I say I don’t want to feel like I’m shirking responsibility the fact is what I’m saying is of course I regret it. Not just because of the damage it’s caused Amy and the loss of life but the damage to her family but also to my family and also to me. You know we’ve all sort of gone through this addiction.”
Jeremy: Did you ever think I love this woman enough she needs to get well…
B:“We used heroin together as addicts for like four months, then I went to jail then it got a lot worse while I was in jail and then when I came out of jail I was told that if I loved her I’d divorce her and set her free and I did.”
Jeremy: Who told you that?
B: “Her family and my family but specifically her dad said this needs to stop. He said if you love her really you’ll divorce her. I spoke to Amy about it and we sort of agreed that it would get everyone off our backs at least you know and we’d probably remarry but I did you know and we divorced.”
On Amy having a seizure after taking cocaine.
B: “I think when it started to hurt more and it was more… it was sort of heartbreaking to see and I couldn’t do anything about it was Amy had a seizure and was taken to a hospital and it was all sort of dealt with.
“I put her on her side and called an ambulance, just put her in the recovery position, stopped her trying to swallow her tongue. It was cocaine.”
“I was bursting into tears I was completely beside myself.”
On how he was told about Amy’s death while he was in prison.
B: “It was the weekend and there was a knock at the door and the officers sort of opened the door and said can you come with us. I didn’t really think too much of it but it was slightly unusual to be opened up and walked down to the office. And then one of the senior officers asked me a few questions and said ‘are you still married to Amy’ and I said ‘no’ and he said ‘this is never easy’ he said ‘Amy died earlier that day’.
“And for about two or three minutes I was probably.. maybe a bit pathetic, I said ‘no no that’s not true it won’t be Amy it will be someone that looks like her, you know that’s what it will be, it will be a hoax’. You know like people do on Twitter or whatever and say someone’s passed away and it just turns out to be some sort of joke.
“So I made them show me about six or seven websites and each time they showed me the computer I’m finding it harder and harder to say no, you know and eventually I think they got the BBC up and they updated it so it was within the past minute and obviously at that point I mean I broke down and couldn’t stop crying and then I had to get put back in my cell.”
After Blake came out of prison and switched his phone on he had texts from Amy from before her death.
B:“I don’t know what dates they were from because when I turned the phone on they were there but there was one talking about being a godmother to Jack (his son). We had sort of spoken in the previous weeks about her visiting me and we had had maybe one emotional phone call when we’d said you know ‘are we thinking about maybe getting back together at some point’.
“She said that her doctor had said to her, her doctor must have been a woman, because she said to her ‘you’re never not going to be in love with Blake’ and Amy had said ‘yeah I know’ and she asked me if she could come and visit me and I’d written a letter saying I don’t know what we’re going to do of course I’m always going to love you and then we had a correspondence for about a week where we sort of ummed and aahed about it and then in the end it was sort of like what are we doing?”
Jeremy: The last words she said to you were ‘you’re never going to lose me’, is that right?
On going into rehab for third time and getting clean from drugs.
B: “I I sort of had to take the thought that my son is going to need me, I don’t want my son going to school and for the other mothers at the gates to say that’s this junky… and they probably will anyway because that’s the nature of what people are like but I want my son to be able to go to school and say well no matter what they say I know my dad doesn’t do drugs I want him to be proud of me.”
The Jeremy Kyle Show, weekdays at 9.25am on ITV